you toe pee ya

 

I dream of a world where everyone’s left-handed

and no one looks at me twice

 

I won’t be bald anymore, snakes for hair

laughing as my sunglasses slip forward

carried by the sweat on my nosebridge

 

no longer a footsoldier marching along

one of your endless exposed brick hallways

every cat will know my name

 

and raindrops will remember the lakes

they were born from as they splash into new ones

 

the wind will sound like the creak of queer leather jackets

and wheezing deviated septums

 

everyone will wear sweatpants, but no one will sweat

unless sitting in a chair made for sweating

 

beanie hats will be outlawed

until the day everyone rebels together

then the last remaining royal will wear one as a crown

 

the world’s national anthem will be Mort Garson’s Plantasia

enjoyed eyes closed each morning before work

 

except there will be no work

unless it’s spelled with an E and shouted

at death-dropping queens

 

and the only instance money will be mentioned

will be by teens referencing the catchphrase

of the cult classic contestant on Storage Wars

and then a baby will be born right-handed

and we’ll start all over again