Zoë Dunning

Trans Elder

The average life expectancy
For trans people is 35
Due to violence and suicide
 
My future vision is blurry
I can see fuzzy outlines
Shadows taking shape
 
I see a face crumpled in sorrow
Heavy with loss and longing
Until I’m stiff as a board in a box
Then light as a feather
 
I don’t want to be just another statistic
I deserve to live a full life
Free from fear and persecution
Not terrorized by my body and bigots
 
But then I adjust my lens
And I can just make out a brighter future
Queer people with full rights
Trans people full of life
 
I see faces lined with years of laughter too
Memories that trace down my cheeks
Soft eyes and firm muscles
Firm resolve and soft heart
 
I want to survive somehow 
To see a country/state/community
Free from christofascism
Where my biggest fear is just
Dying alone
 
Not being tortured and killed
Left to die in some field
The wrong gender reported
The wrong name written on my tombstone
The wrong people at my funeral
 
I want to retire and die a trans elder
Surrounded by community and love
75 years under my still stylish belt
 
No, fuck those odds—
I want to see fucking 101
To take my first breath
In the 20th century
Last through the 21st past my abusers
And ring in the new year in the 22nd
 
I want to tell the younger generations
My grandkids and great grandkids
About the trans people
Who fought for their rights
How I survived world wars
And climate change
And hate crimes
 
I want them to be shocked and horrified
Since trans people are our equals
We respect the Earth and all her creatures
 
I want to live to see how
The human race once again
Adapted and overcame
How we evolved with love
Outgrew hatred
Put our bombs down
No more lines drawn
 
I want to tell trans kids,
“I’m still here.
You can not just survive
But thrive.
You can see your 35th birthday
And more.”
 
But for now, more of us
Will die before we even retire
A tragedy as old as time
So many souls gone too soon
Stolen by blind hatred
 
But don’t give up all hope
A better future is possible for us all
Trans people deserve to grow old too
And our lives matter