Mercury Sunderland

Mermen Seek Refuge

in the presence of my home
i don’t guide many visitors
mostly because as lonely as i am
i like my peace
 
& in dark cold nights
i am found tossing & turning
but what could create
the oceans i could swim
 
only brings
weak streams
 
i am tired
of these
soulless no passion strangers
 
i am an
autistic gay trans man
 
how is it so easy
to read the library of social cues
to understand a language
that i simply cannot speak
 
& yet i speak so many
that ask to leap freely
from my tongue
which you shun away
 
i grew tired of
trying to find home
in the small pool i can find
so shallow i can barely swim
 
find another man who could love me
& actually tell me when there are problems
 
will someone find home
in my tear ducts & watercolors
trauma & joy interconnect
 
mermen seek refuge
in a sensory rainbow of coral reefs.